technology essay c1

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Writing - Part 1 - C1 Advanced (CAE) - Practice, Write & Improve

Exam question:, type: essay.

Write an  essay  discussing only two points . You should explain which point is more important , giving reasons in support of your answer.

Student's Answer:

“How daily life is affected by technology

With the rapid evolution of technology and its inevitable presence in our life, one might wonder how much it affects mundane aspects, from our relationships to how we converse. As such, this essay intends to discuss how both matters are affected.

Our relations with others should be firstly addressed, for the rise of computers and cell phones allowed millions of strangers to connect through a screen. This is fundamentally an advantage, since it gives individuals the opportunity of finding friends and creating bonds with those of similar interests and costumes. Nevertheless, it has its risks, for with the same ease one shares genuine information regarding their life, so does one illude people online about themselves.

In addition, the creation of \”digital bonds\” has also changed the way we communicate. Nowadays, most rely on messaging software and online websites to interact with both relatives and strangers. It is certain this is an advantage for families who are separated can easily communicate as if they were in the same room. However, it has also changed how we talk while in the presence of others due to the risks of addiction.

Notwithstanding the above, I believe the chances that high tech gives us to create new relationships is the most important aspect of how it affects our routine, for if it wasn’t for technology, we would not be increasing our \”relationship net\” throughout the globe.

To summarize, technological advances have brought advantages over the years and new links with others are a \”double-edged sword\” of it, but its most valuable aspect.”

"How daily life is affected by technology - should not be in the form of a question, which is typical of articles

Consequences of life affected by technology

With the rapid evolution of technology (introductory phrases) and its inevitable presence in our people's lives, one might wonder (indirect language) how much it affects mundane aspects, (relevant vocabulary) from our relationships to daily communication  how we converse . As such, (cohesive devices) this essay intends to discuss (indirect language) how both matters are affected.

Appropriate introduction; informs the reader about the essence of the essay;

• avoid text personalisation and informal language (We, Our) ,  use third person: he or she, they , one’s or passive forms

Our relations with others   (avoid personal language) Mutual relations  should be firstly addressed, for the rise of computers and cell phones allowed millions of strangers to connect through a screen. This is (demonstrative pronouns) fundamentally an advantage since it gives individuals the opportunity of (indirect language) finding friends and creating bonds with those of similar interests and costumes. Nevertheless , (cohesive devices) it has its risks, for with the same ease one share genuine information regarding (appropriate language) their life, so does one illude people online about themselves.

In addition, (linking words) the creation of "digital bonds" has also changed the way of everyday communication . we communicate . Nowadays , most rely on messaging software and online websites to interac t (subject-specific vocabulary) with both (conjunctions) relatives and strangers. It is certain this is an advantage for families who are separated can easily communicate as if they were in the same room. However , it has also changed how we talk way of conversations while in the presence of others due to the risks of addiction.

Notwithstanding the above, (relationship is shown) I believe the chances that high tech gives us / delivers to create new relationships is the most important aspect of how it affects our one's daily routine, for if it was not (conditionals) for technology, we would not be increasing our "relationship net" throughout the globe.

To summarize, technological advances have brought advantages (relevant vocabulary) over the years and new links with others are a "double-edged sword" of it, but its most valuable aspect .

Content: 5/5 have you answered the question?

All content is relevant to the task. Target reader is informed.

• Relationships- fully commented
• How we communicate- fully commented

You should explain which point is more important, giving reasons in support of your answer- fully commented

Communicative Achievement: 4/5 have you completed the task in the right sort of language?

The language register is consistently appropriately formal  (slips)

• avoid personalisation and direct language (I, WE, YOU) it is not appropriate to use in formal papers   Formal & Informal Style (video)

The organisation: 5/5 have you structured your writing properly?

The text is clearly organised into paragraphs , which each deal with one idea.

The topic is clearly communicated in the first paragraph and the main points are developed in separate paragraphs.

Language: 4-5/5 have you used a good range of grammar and vocabulary?

Vocabulary There is a wide range of vocabulary, including less common lexis.

Grammar There is wide range of simple and more complex grammatical forms which are used with control and flexibility.

Errors, are insignificant and do not impede communication.

  Score: 18-19/20 Grade: C1/C2

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Home / IELTS, CAE, FCE Writing Samples / CAE Writing Part 1: Life and Technology

CAE Writing Part 1: Life and Technology

Which aspect of our life has been effected most by technology? – Communication – Relationship – Working Life

Technology has an important role in our daily lives and it is used in almost the whole globe (1) . In this essay, I will discuss about (2) its influences in (3) our relationships and what has changed in our way to communicate. To start with, we can connect to people who used to be our schoolmates or college colleagues (4) Alternatively, there is the chance on (5) making new friends with whom we share our same ideas or opinions on a large variety of topics, such as politics, education and economics. Nevertheless, being isolated in our own rooms may cause many forms of depression, as scientists have recently found out. Therefore, we should be careful if considering young people because they could be victims of cyber bullying or be attracted by paedophiles. The second point to consider is its positive effect on the communication. For instance, not only are our messages sent and received from one corner of the world to another in a few seconds, but also the search of information and news has recently become faster. Despite this brilliant innovation, many grammatical features are used more inappropriately than before. Consequently, our language will become easy to manipulate and it will be easer (6) to write and world-widely spread fake news which can influence our opinions. To sum up, technology is a massive presence impossible to delete and will continue to influence our lives (7) . In my opinion, the major aspect to consider most carefully is the second point discussed because we should pay attention on what we read and always find the sources of websites consulted.

Assessor’s comments

The commentaries are marked in brackets with number ( * ). You can find the commentaries below. The part in italics  is from the text, the underlined word is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.

• Technology has an important role in our daily lives and it is used almost all over/around the globe  — preposition ‘in’ isn’t used with ‘globe’ here, it would imply that something is located literally inside of it. See this article on prepositions .
• I will discuss (I will talk about)   its influences  — do not use ‘discuss’ and ‘about’ together.
• Influence on — if you mean that something directly or indirectly affects something else, then you should say that it has an influence on it .
• College colleagues  — colleagues are people you work with. Unless you worked in college together e.g. as teachers you shouldn’t use the word. Try ‘classmate’ for people you studied with.
• Chance of — If there is a probability of something, then there is a chance of it happening.
• Easier — make sure your spelling is right. Also check this list of words that can be difficult to spell right.
• To sum up, technology has massive presence that is impossible to overlook/ignore/get rid of and will continue to influence our lives  — ‘to delete’ is a more technical term and it doesn’t fit well into the sentence stylistically.

This piece of writing has several inaccuracies with prepositions and occasional vocabulary mistakes. Nonetheless, it is well-structured and all of the points are sufficiently developed. The writer has chosen two of the three points and clearly stated his preference for one of them, as required by the task.

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A for and against essay about online communication.

Look at the essay and do the exercises to improve your writing skills. 

Instructions

Do the preparation exercise first. Then read the text and do the other exercises.

Preparation

Check your understanding: grouping

Check your understanding: reordering, check your writing: gap fill, check your writing: multiple choice, worksheets and downloads.

Do you prefer online or face-to-face communication? Why? Which type of communication do you think is more important in today’s world, and why?

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